Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
