I skipped work to stalk him.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
