Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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