I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
