I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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