The maid of honor just puked.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
