Michael Bay diarrhea
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
