clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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