Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Let's get the cat blown out
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
