Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Success! We fucked roommates!
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