hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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