I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
