I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
