I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
