U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
