Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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