meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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