dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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