So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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