no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
