i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize