I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
