She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
