I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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