ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
