it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
