oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
