I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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