very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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