Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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