if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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