kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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