If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
