my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
