just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
