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I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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