So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
