Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
