I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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