is your mom at the bar?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize