Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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