Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize