What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
They are going to name an STD after you.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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