fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
