There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize