Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My friends, they love my intelligence
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
