I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
