I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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