:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
