i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
