Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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