My nipple is on Facebook.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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