He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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