return my video game
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
