i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
